December 17

We have this tradition at work. It's called "the fruit cake roll."

Many, many years ago, a donor sent us a fruit cake in a tin from Collin Street Bakery. Obviously, nobody wanted to eat said fruit cake. Because, gross. But this fruit cake had a much, much higher purpose. It would be rolled like a bowling ball by everyone in the office, with the object of the game to roll it the farthest.

At some point, management decided that it would be inappropriate to use the donor's fruitcake for such a game, and we began buying our own. And every Christmas season, we all find a parking lot and compete.

And there can only be one champion (of each gender). And that champion keeps the fruit cake in the tin the whole year. And you guessed it: I was the winner.

Depending, of course, on your definition of "winner."