August 25

I know you think all I ever talk about is the war on geckos, but let me tell you, they're vicious. As I was turning on the light last night after walking in the door, I swear the biggest gecko I've ever seen ran between my legs into my living room. If ever there was a time to scream and wet myself, this was it.

I'm pretty certain that if Satan had a pet gecko, this would have been it. He was big and evil and had sharp teeth. I couldn't even put a glass over him and save him for Jack; he was too big for the glass. So I did what any reasonable, adult woman would do.

I called my daddy.